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There has been much talk in the news about children starting school not completely potty/toilet trained, it’s come after a survey was published by kindredsquared.org.uk found that 1 in 4 children are starting school not fully potty trained.
This statistic has grabbed lots of peoples attention with much debate sparked about the thought of children starting school in nappies.
Potty Training has become later over the years and the average age of children starting their potty training journey is on the rise.
"Over the last century, the average age that our children are being toilet trained has moved from 12-18 months, to an average of around 3 or even 4 years today" According to eric.org.uk (The children's bowel and bladder charity)
As summer is coming to a close some parents will feel the pressure pile on as time is effectively running out before the first day of school starts to approach, and if your child isn’t potty trained it can feel like a challenge that is now hard to overcome.
Usually parents that reach out for help for late potty training support often are parents that have hit challenges with potty training and now as the first day of school is fast approaching they can feel under a lot of pressure and are unsure of what to do..
Why is potty/toilet training getting later?
Nappies are very, very good, super comfy and super dry- children can go years without feeling the true wetness of releasing a bladder feels like.
Both parents are usually in full time work which means children are in childcare most if not all of the week- the time to potty train can only be squished into a 2 day window that can end up being unsuccessful.
Misconception of waiting for ‘readiness’ - a lack of understanding of what readiness means and what to do while you wait.
Lack of support- with health visitor cuts and local parent services- when parents hit potty training challenges where do they turn?
It only takes a few days- get on with it!
Some children find potty training a little more complicated than others and the expectation that it takes a quick 3 day event is misleading- for some parents if it goes on for longer they return the nappy with the understanding “my child just wasn’t ready” and so potty training gets put off for another few months in the hope that next time it will be quicker and easier.
Families that contact me for potty training support never come across as "lazy" - which is a word I hear lots when talking about potty training! It’s usually the opposite- the stress of potty training has affected the whole family and with the added stress of school approaching this pressure kicks up a notch and it all becomes overwhelming and surrounded in stigma.
Pressure doesn’t help potty training!
One thing I am sure of- when a child feels any kind of pressure they just can’t do it. Pressure to do anything usually makes a little one say “no” and with potty training we have to understand they have the control here- it’s their body and we are just here to teach, encourage and support them to get wee and poo in the potty/toilet.
I made that sound supper easy- it’s not!
Potty training is up there with one of the biggest challenges parents face with small children.
Is it too late to make a difference?
It’s never too late to start!
However, I wouldn’t be piling on the pressure to complete potty training quickly before school but I would introduce some potty training teaching so the ball is rolling which will give some confidence to your child before the big day.
Without using too much pressure but focussing on progress and practice it would be great to start some potty training teaching. Here are some simple things to do without any expectation.
Natural sits on the potty at easy times (like nappy change and bath time)
Having some nappy free time
Change nappies standing up
Talk openly about where wee and poo go
For more practical ways to teach your child about toileting download your free guide here.
What will the school say?
Having these hard conversations with a teacher you have just meet can feel very overwhelming and it can also feel embarrassing. To overcome this I believe you just need to be honest- talk to the teachers about what led you to this point and keep the key focus to work together to overcome this challenge so your little one can get the best start possible.
How to work with school?
It’s absolutely true that teachers have a lot on their plates and potty training isn’t in the job description- taking time out of teaching to change nappies is less than ideal for teachers and students.
However, its key that everyone works together so your child can progress out of nappies confidently.
Here are some key ways to work together to support your child transitioning to school:
Be open and honest about the challenges your child faces before the first day.
Have a consistent approach to potty training. Try to focus on consistent language and teaching.
Make a plan together so you can review progress.
Starting school is a big change for children so small steps to potty training progress will be the key. If you need an extra hand along the way- just reach out potty training support is here.
A little about me……….
I’m Hayley a potty training expert with over 20 years experience working with children and families. I provide parents information and methods to successfully potty train. I also work with schools and early years settings to encourage potty teaching and parental support!
Get in touch by booking a free chat here to get potty training help today.
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